Monday, December 26, 2016

There must be cars in heaven 2

I told the girls at school the counselor and nurse were just outside the door, I still had not received conformation that he was really gone and I still had hope he had survived so I told the he had been in a really bad accident and that he might not be able to come home.  I told my girls there must be cars in heaven and one must be broke down.

Dad drove us home, the coroner called on our way they had sent the police twice to the house.  Dad called James parents for me Mom called our priest my brothers and sisters started coming over an appointment was made with the funeral home, they announced his name on the news.  We did not watch any local TV for a week I didn't want the girls to see pictures of his van.  My sweet girls are only 11, 8, and 6.  My right hand started to shake.

On Saturday morning l looked up the articles on the internet, you have to love social media it allows people who know nothing give their account of what happened.  For those who thought he was texting or on the phone he was not (I have the phone no calls or text came or went from his phone around the time of the accident), for those who stated he should have had on his seat belt the police report states lap and shoulder harness were in use.  He was not suicidal, and we believe in God and Heaven.

God does not cause the bad things that happen in our lives he is a kind and loving God. What God does do is use the bad to show us the good in others around us.

Saturday I started making funeral arrangements my parents helped.  My nephews searched the basement for a VW emblem that I could place in his coffin with him they gave us paper at the funeral home so the girls and I could write him one last letter.  Food and toilet paper was brought to the house.  The girls have pretty much disappeared into their tablets.  They watched Netflix a lot during this time. 

Sunday we went to church that was about all I could take just one hour when father said his name asking for prayers I had to sit down.  Every time I got up set my Mary came running, she was trying to take care of me.  My sister and niece stayed at the house that first week to help me and the girls my parents came over everyday taking me any place I needed to go friends and family brought food.

Monday morning I ironed his shirt for the last time.  We went to the church to choose his final resting place.  I placed him near the road because he loved cars so much he is also near the children's part of the cemetery because he loved kids.  On the way home the funeral home called they would not be able to open the casket he did not need his suite, just jeans and a long sleeve shirt.  The one I ironed was long sleeved.  Dad took his cloths I looked for a picture.  My cousin brought one uncle and two aunts from Indiana down.  Offers for help with Christmas started coming in.

Tuesday was the visitation, the video was very nice my brother choose the pictures.  My in-laws came into town that afternoon from Florida and the girls and wrote  our letters that morning.  I don't know what Mary and Jamie wrote they sealed them with stickers before they gave them to me Grace just drew pictures on hers. 

That night I meet most of the district managers for the state including the one who went to the accident and identified my James so I didn't have to.  Abra has done nothing but look out for the girls and I from the start of this nightmare.  My sweet Grace sat next to me during the rosary the video was playing and she told father who was in every picture and why.  The deacon who baptised the girls lead the rosary service.  Most of the family came back to the house afterwards.

Wednesday morning was the funeral.  I wrote the eulogy that morning.  My sister and niece helped get the girls ready.  Dad drove us the church.  My cousin read what I had written I'm not positive the readings were what I had picked out but they brought comfort, Father's sermon was very comforting.  After lunch most of the family came to the house.

Thursday was Thanksgiving we went to Mom and Dads for lunch Grace finally got her Turkey.  My hand stopped shaking for the most part.

Friday we we're supposed to celebrate our 16th wedding anniversary.

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