We are about to hit the nine month anniversary it even hits on a Friday this time everyone keeps telling me how good I'm doing. They don't know I still sleep with your jacket, I still cry a lot. I miss you so much its hard to sleep without hearing the tick of your heart. I watch the hummingbirds in the evening and want to prop my feet on your chair or lay my head on your shoulder. Last week I got my monthly letter from the insurance saying they're still waiting on the toxicology report.
Rebecca called she found a dime and had to check on me. As I was cleaning the desk off I kept finding change but not one dime, I was so mad I didn't understand why you sent everyone dimes but me (I've only found one) then I realised when someone finds a dime they call me.
I wish I could be as strong as the girls then I wonder if they are as strong as we all think. Mary loves middle school but still wants me to walk her to the bus every morning. Jamie has graduated to the top bunk she doesn't talk about you as much as the other two and has become a little more clingy. Grace took your picture in her about me bag, it was one of the two of you in the kayak together.
Mom and Dad just had their 52nd anniversary, Jamie just turned 9, Grace is 7, and Mary is about to turn 12. Time keeps passing but we won't ever pas our 16th anniversary and you'll always be 47. I know we will be okay it all just takes time (that's what they all keep telling me).
I traded in my van and bought a Toyota just like you wanted you would love it. Its really nice all the doors open and everything. I changed Grace over to a booster seat she keeps locking her seatbelt when she buckles herself in.